Our first episode is live!
What better way to launch our first episode than with the original three friends from the coffee shop where the idea was born? Join Danny, Valentina, and their very good friend Alice for our first episode recording.
In this episode, we will be sharing the signs that were missed that said “hey, maybe I am not monogamous”. We banter playfully about labels, do we love them, hate them, or love to hate them? In closing we talk about safer sex practices in non-monogamy and what that looks like for us. Get your coffee ready and turn off your notifications! You will want to have the next hour of your life uninterrupted!
Our special guest, Alice, heard about poly in 2008, took 11 years to jump into it, and has been polyamorous since 2019.
Show Notes:
Valentina’s Relationship Blog, “The Relationship Rebel”: http://www.relationship-rebel.com/
Danny’s Book, “Is now a good time to talk? How to ask for what you want and get it”: https://amzn.to/3GNWgwM
Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord: https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/uir660/a_way_to_define_your_relationships_relationship/
Danny’s Worksheet: “Make and Share a Poly Pizza”: https://kinkypoly.com/worksheet-how-to-make-and-share-a-polyamorous-pizza/
STD/STI Testing at the LGBTQ+ community center, “The Center”, in Las Vegas: https://thecenterlv.org/health-center
The LGBTQ+ community center, “The Center”, in Las Vegas: https://thecenterlv.org/
Great Quotes & Moments from Episode 01 of Poly Café:
“I don’t think monogamy is natural, I feel like it’s a choice.” ~Valentina (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 2m23s )
“Me having feelings or caring about another person has nothing to do with the person that I’m seeing (dating) at the time.” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – ms )
“That kind of situation, for me, really highlighted the difference between people who take your actions as an offense on them, verses actually just existing in the moment with the person you are with.” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 6m45s )
“If you’re going to be monogamous, be monogamous, but there’s more to relationships than whether or not you’re the only people being intimate with each other. That’s almost the least important conversation to have.” ~Valentina (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 11m25s )
“The difference between Ethical Non-Monogamy and Consensual Non-Monogamy. […] the story I was just talking about […] that was not consensual. […] THAT is the thing that was wrong with it.” ~Danny (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 12m43s )
“Even saying ‘Ethical Non-Monogamy’, it opens up a can of worms because what’s ethical to one person is not ethical to another. So, consent is always the key.” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 13m24s )
“I find that it’s just as dangerous to do poly by script as it is to do mono by script.” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 16m45s )
“Poly is more intentional and more ‘I’m choosing to be around you on purpose.’” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 18m10s )
“One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was: maybe you’re just not your type.” ~Danny (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 19m28s )
“Any time I start feeling ‘not safe’ around certain people, I become a muted version of myself. And so, in my ideal land I get to live in the fullest version of me around multiple people and it’s just positive experiences.” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 20m50s )
“One of my deal breakers is that I will not be a secret. […] it says to me that they are not ready (for poly).” ~Danny (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 24m44s )
“[on the topic of fluid bonded safe sex practices] the agreement is, if they were to have or be sexually active with anyone new, just let me know before we have sex again.” ~Valentina (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 45m28s )
“Poly isn’t about just the sex. It’s just, we’re just so much better at talking about it, out of necessity.” ~Alice (PolyCafe.org – s01e01 – 49m25s )
Leave a Reply